FAQs about Enlivened
Toxic relationships, domestic abuse & bullying in the workplace
At Enlivened, we are often asked what bullying looks like, how domestic abuse presents itself and what individuals can do it they are experiencing issues at home or at work or know someone who is.
We truly feel every woman deserves to live a life of success, fulfilment, and happiness and to be able to speak out without the fear of backlash, whether at home or in the workplace. Quite often, these negative external factors impact our mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing meaning we feel powerless, uncomfortable, or feel the need to pretend everything is 'fine' which ultimately can lead to feeling worthless, ashamed, or even weak.
Nothing is further from the truth, as our founder, Julie Randall, outlines in her answers to some of the most frequent questions we get asked.
1. Why did you set up Enlivened?
At first, I thought I would focus completely on working with businesswomen who had experienced domestic abuse. Then, after thinking about my own story and listening to others, I realised that I wasn't alone. There were many women who had:
- felt disempowered
- worked in male-dominated industries
- been working Mums
- experienced work-place bullying
- lived with debt
- other issues which resulted in them living behind a façade to survive
Creating and living behind a façade 24/7 is arduous work and tiring, it often leads to burnout and exhaustion. I wanted to create a safe place for women to gain support as well as being able to network. More importantly, I wanted them to feel important and heard.
Reasons why women can feel disempowered
All the above bullet points, and more, can make a woman feel disempowered. I believe it comes down to not being listened to, not feeling like we can be our true selves and because it wouldn't fit the 'expectation' others have of us as well as the expectations we have for ourselves.
This can often lead to feelings of shame and when we dig deep, we often find this is underpinned by the feeling of not being good enough.
2. What does recovery from abuse look like?
To start on any journey, you need to know the starting point and ideally have an end point too whether that is ending an abusive relationship, getting out of debt, feeling empowered or reconnecting with yourself and your 'soft-power.' You also need to gain an understanding of where you are in the first place and unless your life or the lives of anyone you love, are in imminent danger, this isn't a stage to rush.
If you do feel any life is in danger, you must contact the police immediately.
As for recovery, it isn't always a smooth, straightforward path. Sometimes you need to retrace your steps or spend longer on a particular part of the journey than you would like. There's no right or wrong here: everyone is different and works at a different pace.
3. How long can recovery take?
Personally, I believe the journey of recovery is life long and made up of various stages including:
- Recognition
- Reorganising
- Reframing
- Rebalancing
- Reviewing
- Refining
While the recognition stage can be instantaneous, it can also take time depending on your personal circumstances.
Reorganising, reframing and rebalancing will vary from person to person, but these stages are generally a time-controlled piece, especially if you work with a coach to help you.
The last two stages are the life-long parts as once you have rebalanced, recovery is about reviewing what is and what isn't working meaning you refine as you go along.
4. Can you be bullied without realising it?
Bullying at work can be very blatant if you find your boss or a member of the senior management team, shouts at you in front of everyone else on a regular basis. Bullying at home might display as your partner calling you names in front of the children and both these types of bullying are easy to spot.
You can, however, be bullied without realising and it can be an insidious and slow build up. At work, you may be the one always asked to work late, given extra work with short deadlines or find yourself excluded from meetings. At home you may be expected to do all the cooking and cleaning and be ignored if you don't agree with your partner.
Bullying comes in many forms but, if someone else consistently makes you feel uncomfortable, this is unacceptable.
5. How can women take back control?
Whether you feel used, abused, bullied, or burned out, taking back control is absolutely, possible.
If you've been in a disempowered state for a long time, It may seem daunting or even unlikely and it is natural to question if it's possible to redress the balance.
In all these situations it's about recognising and valuing your own self-worth first. Once you believe that you matter, I promise you that things will change. It may take time and practice but with the right support, coaching and strategies, you can take back control of your life.
6. How can Enlivened help me or someone I know?
According to UK statistics, women are 60% more likely to suffer from stress and burnout than men. One in four women will be diagnosed with depression compared to one in ten men. The gender pay gap is the highest it's been in 20 years and women are less happy than they were 40 years ago.
This is regardless of age, how much money they make, if they have children or not, whether they're married, single, divorced and where they live
So, how does a woman who wants to take back control of her life, step up and do that in a way which also allows her to be healthy, happy, fulfilled ad successful?
At Enlivened, we believe this is by reconnecting with her 'soft power' and working with her body, mind, and soul.
Via our coaching support, we help you recognise and understand your challenges, beliefs, and values. We ensure you reorganise, reframe and rebalance with strategies which will serve you sustainably, at home and at work. We can also support you on an ongoing basis to review and refine your strategies as you progress.
7. How do I recognise if someone needs support and how do I approach them?
The word 'fine' is used all too often as a response to how we are doing in life, relationships and work. Only, are we really fine?
Just think a minute to think how often you've said you're fine when you've been anything but? If you've done it, why should your friends and family be any different?
Now I'm not suggesting that everyone who says they're fine is on the brink of a meltdown or burnout however, if you've noticed that someone you know doesn't seem themselves, there's a strong possibility you may be right.
Life is complex and at times we all have things which can bring us down. We are also, all different. What may seem like nothing to you, may seem insurmountable to another person.
Others may be living in exceedingly demanding situations coping with grief, domestic abuse, debt or job loss. So, next time you're not convinced when someone says they're 'fine,' just stop a moment and ask, "are you sure?"
Quite often, this simple question will help to bring down barriers and open up conversation.
If it doesn't and you're still not convinced, reassure the person you're concerned about them and should they ever want to talk, they can reach out to you. Don't badger them for more information but do make sure to check in again with them.
It's not our place to judge but I do believe it's our place to support. A kind word and someone to listen, really can make all the difference.
For more information about joining, or if you have a question of your own, do not hesitate to get in touch.
To learn more about how Enlivened can support you or someone you know, or to find out more about working with Enlivened please call 0333 772 1802 or Contact Us here.
